Duties of the bestman
Organise the Stag do
This is an important role and should be carefully thought out. While you will probably need to include some of the traditional embarrassment you should choose this very carefully. It is your responsibility to ensure that the groom has a good time and that you remain good friends! It has been known for the Bestman to take things so far on the stag do that the Groom revokes not only the role but also the invitation to the wedding. Don't worry about this too much as you will inevitably be expected to embarrass him. Remember you were chosen for a good reason, you know him well. Think about your friend/relative that you're organising it for and everything will run smoothly.
There are a number of businesses that can help you to organise an amazing stag do for the same cost as planning it yourself. Getting it organised professionally can take a lot of the stress and pressure away giving you the opportunity to enjoy the event as much as everyone else. Take a look at The Stag Company for inspiration. They have a wide selection of packages ranging from a night in a UK city to top notch stag weekends abroad.
As the bestman you will usually be required to make a speech at the reception. Some couples are now deciding to do away with this tradition so check with the groom on this if it is not clear. Be sure to write your speech in advance, as the wedding date gets closer you will find yourself becoming busier and busier. The last thing you want is to be staying up and writing it the night before the wedding, give yourself time to proof read and make revisions. Of course you can bring up a few embarrassing stories but choose them carefully and don't forget to compliment the bride and wish the couple all the best.
Preparing for the day
- In the weeks preceding the wedding you should make sure that the groom is ok with everything and that he has all the correct documentation.
- Make sure all transport arrangements are in place for the day, check on bookings, parking arrangements. The transport includes everything except the Brides transport to the venue.
- Liaise with the ushers and make sure everyone is comfortable with their roles on the day.
- Attend wedding rehearsal.
- Familiarise yourself with all the timings.
- Check that the groom is ok with his speech
The day before
- Make sure everything is looking good for you arrival, that includes checking traffic reports, making sure the car is clean and that you have had a hair cut.
- Ensure you are comfortable with all of you duties for the next day and that you have some contingencies in place for as many scenarios as possible.
- Collect suits
On the Morning of the wedding
- Get ready early and make sure you have the rings, order of service and button holes ready.
- Help the groom get ready, make sure he is calm and arrives at the venue at least 15 minutes before the guests are due.
- Check on the ushers and make sure they know exactly where they should be and are aware of any guests with special requirements.
During the Ceremony and Photos
- Sit with the groom at the front and continue to make sure he is ok.
- Pass over the rings when required
- Sign the register if requested to do so.
- Make sure registrar or church fees are paid.
- Assist the Photographer in gathering guests for photographs.
- Ensure everyone can get to the evening do.
- Help to greet guests on arrival
- Take up the role of master of ceremonies if there is not one present (introduce speeches)
- Read messages from those who could not make it
- Give final speech
- Dance with Chief Bridesmaid after the first dance.
- Decorate the going away car and ensure luggage, passports and tickets are ready to go.
- Give final speech
- Ensure the Bride and Groom are on time
- Announce to the guests that they are leaving
The next day
- Make sure suits are returned
- Ensure presents are collected
This may seem like a long list but as long as your organised and aware of what you should be doing when, it will be a breeze.